Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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