i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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