cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
