New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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