i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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