So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
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Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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