Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
