You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
