The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize