Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
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