1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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