why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
