Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
