That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
