Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
