wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
