Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
