College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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