I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
