Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.