My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
