If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
