That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
