I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
worst night to have a conscience
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH