i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
