My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
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the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
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I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.