Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(513): View more from Ohio

there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"

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(937): View more from Ohio

i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.

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(516): View more from New York

In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea

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(910): View more from North Carolina

After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".

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(707): View more from California

We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly

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(615): View more from Tennessee

congrats on being the token straight people in our group.

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