Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You took a bar mat shot.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.