Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband

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  (616): Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband http://tfl.nu/lbgd
  Replies (20) Good night (5985) Bad night (768)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.

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  (480): I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty. http://tfl.nu/9fyr
  Replies (100) Good night (4056) Bad night (640)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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  (636): So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man. http://tfl.nu/8qmy
  Replies (73) Good night (9150) Bad night (1303)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012

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  (732): I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012 http://tfl.nu/8oo2
  Replies (56) Good night (690) Bad night (3508)
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  (510): View more from California

  Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.

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  (510): Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day. http://tfl.nu/kbev
  Replies (7) Good night (1392) Bad night (2612)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.

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  (207): I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside. http://tfl.nu/y846
  Replies (6) Good night (634) Bad night (1387)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.

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  (208): Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable. http://tfl.nu/h9sq
  Replies (7) Good night (1841) Bad night (627)
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  (530): View more from California

  it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam

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  (530): it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam http://tfl.nu/24cr
  Replies (4) Good night (3264) Bad night (890)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.

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  (608): We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me. http://tfl.nu/8edb
  Replies (4) Good night (1262) Bad night (624)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?

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  (770): He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days? http://tfl.nu/yt8d
  Replies (12) Good night (1289) Bad night (486)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.

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  (517): my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win. http://tfl.nu/1toi
  Replies (7) Good night (1569) Bad night (533)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol

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  (913): The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol http://tfl.nu/w5ds
  Replies (5) Good night (1089) Bad night (680)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?

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  (603): Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people? http://tfl.nu/67j9
  Replies (13) Good night (355) Bad night (766)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.

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  (248): I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl. http://tfl.nu/rz4s
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (319)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney

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  (919): I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney http://tfl.nu/wjc0
  Replies (7) Good night (198) Bad night (384)

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