Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up

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  (248): Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up http://tfl.nu/y2zz
  Replies (1) Good night (939) Bad night (1322)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.

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  (631): i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to. http://tfl.nu/8bc1
  Replies (6) Good night (4441) Bad night (671)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

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  (508): i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip. http://tfl.nu/di6e
  Replies (10) Good night (3476) Bad night (1686)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.

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  (914): Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life. http://tfl.nu/7q9y
  Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (3194)
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  (626): View more from California

  dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.

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  (626): dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing. http://tfl.nu/anwj
  Replies (66) Good night (5606) Bad night (2158)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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  (330): would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles. http://tfl.nu/usa7
  Replies (27) Good night (2129) Bad night (5868)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.

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  (206): All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came. http://tfl.nu/je3h
  Replies (8) Good night (4584) Bad night (988)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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  (804): Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night? http://tfl.nu/x7lh
  Replies (7) Good night (5230) Bad night (1216)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom

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  (207): you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/am8n
  Replies (11) Good night (5597) Bad night (986)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

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  (757): so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you? http://tfl.nu/s3jk
  Replies (7) Good night (3019) Bad night (967)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face

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  (403): i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face http://tfl.nu/onze
  Replies (12) Good night (1079) Bad night (654)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth

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  (808): At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth http://tfl.nu/4jaz
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.

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  (973): The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave. http://tfl.nu/0jfg
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (646)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.

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  (913): If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on. http://tfl.nu/4zva
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.

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  (519): I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED. http://tfl.nu/y580
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (359)

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