Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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