I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
