He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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