she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
