he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
