Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She's the barista slut.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
