To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They are going to name an STD after you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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