So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize