Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
