is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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