I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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