Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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