I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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