just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
