Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize