Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize