I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize