just survived the first fart of the relationship.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
