Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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