I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
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p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school