A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there