my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
