They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
