if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize