You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
