note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
