Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize