we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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