You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize