the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
