we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My ATM looks so different sober.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
