i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize