did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
