And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
