I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
