ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
