dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she pinky promised me she was 18
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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