do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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